Guns and Illuminators
by TwilightInferno
Summary: Illuminators are people who live to give others joy. Their fireworks are their life. However one was against the norm. He decided to use his skills for something different. He created a weapon. Now with double the flavor!
1. And so the tale begins

                                            Guns and Illuminators

Disclaimer: I _do_ own Wheel of Time. If you look on my shelf, I've got all the books. Ohhh, wait, you mean the whole franchise. Well, I don't own that. But, I've still got my books.

___________________________Begin________________________________________

            The winds of Time blow through the Age. In the Age known as the Third Age, the age in which the Dragon had been Reborn, the wind blew through the world strongly. However, winds are made up of more than simply strong gusts. Sometimes the winds are mere breezes, wisps of air traveling slowly. These winds can change much of the world, just as the stronger winds can.

            One such breeze blew along the western lands of Andor, lifting up the dry dusts and giving a short reprieve to those suffering in the heat. However, not all people were glad of this wind. One who stood in its direct path growled softly to himself.

            "Bloody wind, throwing dust in my eyes. Why can't you blow at someone else!? Bloody, bloody wind."

            Scrubbing his eyes with a gloved hand, he continued to curse the wind. Once his eyes were free of the grit lifted by the wind, he gazed outwards with brown eyes. Squinting in the distance, he spotted what appeared to be a small town.

            "Well, so now the town is _finally_ in sight. Bloody lying innkeeper, saying the bloody town was only one day away. It took me one and a _half_ days to get here," he grumbled to himself. Even though he was still young and rather athletic, he still felt spiteful for having been forced to walk longer than he thought he had to.

            Running a hand through his black hair, he just sighed, hoisted his heavy pack higher onto his shoulders and continued on… or he would have if a yell hadn't pierced the noon calm.

            "Get your hands off of me! Get away you brutes!"

            "What in the Light?" he said to himself. He looked around and listened carefully. Behind a nearby hillock he thought he heard sounds of struggling.  _Blood and bloody ashes not another distraction_, he thought to himself. _Sounded like a woman's voice. _Sighing again, he trotted over to the sound of the disturbance.

            Once he climbed to the top of the hillock, he found a woman being attacked by two men. Bandits by the looks of them, what with the dirty clothes and swords and whatnot. _Hmmm… I wonder if I should help her._

            The woman tore free of her captors and screamed out, "Somebody help me!"

            _Well, that takes care of that._

            Working quickly, he pulled out a rather long and oddly shaped stick from his pack. Then, he checked in his pocket for a box he carried. Pulling it out, he opened it.

_            Damn, only two left. I have to make more._ With this thought, he placed one of the objects into the "stick". After doing so, he yelled out, "Hey you there, Stupid and Ugly, stop that."

            The two men stopped harassing the woman and stared at the figure on the hill. Then, one of them yelled back to him, "Hey boy, who are you calling ugly?"

            His partner piped up too, "Yeah, and who are you calling stupid, huh? I don't see anyone around here who's stupid. So, who are you talking too?"

            The young man with the "stick" looked to see if the woman was ok. _Just looks a little breathless… and not rich. Looks like I won't get anything out of this._ Giving off another sigh, he spoke to the men.

            "Well, I'd tell you which of you is which, but you seem to have chosen your labels for yourself."

            Stupid looked at him blankly. Ugly looked at him murderously. Giving a rather deadly glare, he stated, "Are you calling me ugly?"

            "Well if the boot fits… Anyway, I advise you leave the woman and go, unless you feel like living underground."

            Stupid looked at him with an odd look. "Why would we live underground? We're not rabbits or moles or anything like that. You're weird, so go away and let us mug this woman, ok?"

            The woman in question seemed to have finally regained her breath. Looking at her captors and at her savior, she yelled at her savior, "Are you going to save me or what? I don't have all day you know."

            _Wow, that girl's pretty impatient. _Now that he looked carefully, he saw that the "woman" he was saving was actually a girl about two years younger than him. _Hmm… maybe some grateful parents will give me a reward… no, no, no! Focus on the matter at hand_. 

            "I'm getting to it girl"

            At his comment, her face grew red, and she yelled at him. "Who are you calling girl huh! Can't you see my hair is braided!" 

            _Uhh… what?_ Shaking off that odd comment he stared back to Ugly and Stupid. 

            "Well, are you letting her go?"

            Ugly answered back. "No, and we'll kill you for bothering us! You're little stick can't beat our swords! Come on stupid, attack!"

            Stupid, following Ugly's lead, raised his sword and charged at the young man.

            _Well, fine then._ Raising his "stick" to his shoulder, he sighted Ugly, and suddenly a bright flash and a loud bang sounded. Everyone stopped moving, then Ugly fell to the ground.

            Stupid stared…stupidly at his fallen companion. Then, he jerked his frightened gaze towards the young man who was doing something with his stick. Even though he was stupid, he knew what he saw when he saw it.

            "Aes Sedai!!!" He cried fearfully. Then, he ran off into the distance without a backwards glance.

            _Did he just call me a woman? Ahh… whatever at least I saved myself one shot_. Putting his "stick" back into his pack, he faced the young woman. Putting on a charming smile, he said, "Well, how's that for saving?"

            She stared back at him fearfully. She finally choked out a few words, "A..are you a male Aes Sedai?"

            He frowned at her. Mistaking his expression, the young woman jerked backwards in fear. Wanting to soothe her, he answered calmly. 

            "No, no I'm not. What makes you say that?"

            She looked at him as if he were mad. "You caused a man to drop dead with lightning, what else could you be?" To prove her point, she pointed towards the remains of Ugly.

            "Well, I can honestly say I'm not an Aes Sedai. Firstly, because Aes Sedai are female, and secondly because that wasn't lightning. As for what I am… the name's Jetrin Guntis, and this here," he said while pointing at his "stick", "is a gun."

End of Ch. 1

________________________________End____________________________________

            Well, what do you think? This was just an idea that popped in my head. I'm a new writer, so read and review. Support me and I'll write more. Oh, and try guess where the town in the distance is. You're probably right.


	2. Welcome to the idiot village

Disclaimer: I'm not making anymore. One in a story is enough. If someone tells me otherwise, I'll change it, but if not, this'll be the last time you see the word 'disclaimer' in this fic.

______________________BEGINNING OF CH.2_______________________________

            Jetrin shook his head as he followed the "damsel in distress" that he had just saved. As the town began to loom taller in his vision, he called out to her.

            "So, tell me, how did you get into that bit of trouble back there. Just wondering seeing as I'm you're savior and all… uhh… what was your name again?"

            She looked back at him with a disbelieving expression. Jetrin wondered what was so strange about the question she asked when she responded.

            "I just told you not too long ago what my name was! How in the Light did you forget it in such short time! What are you, an idiot or something?" Havin said all this, she faced forward again.

            _Hey now, that's a little harsh there_, Jetrin thought to himself. _Some people just can't seem to be very bloody polite, can they._

            "Well, no, I'm not an idiot," he replied politely, wanting her to be embarrassed at the contrast between her tone and his own. Continuing in that tone, he said, "However, I'm not very good at remembering names. If you'll just refresh my memory, please."

            If she noticed the difference in their tones, her words didn't show it.

            "My name is Meria al'Derin, try to remember it for more than a few moments, all right Jetrin Guntis. I remembered your name, try and do the same."

            _Bloody girl. Burn her if I saved her in order to be made fun of. Next time I see someone attacked by bandits I'll remember this and just pass them by!_

            Wanting to make conversation, he began to ask questions.

            "So…" _Name! What's her name! Think burn you, think!_ "…Meria, tell me, do you live in the town up ahead?"

            Meria stopped and looked back at him. Jetrin stopped too, in order to keep from running into her. She opened her mouth and was about to speak when…

            "HEY!!! HEY THERE!!! IS THAT YOU MERIA?!?"

            Jetrin looked about confused for the phantom voice. Unfortunately, quick movements and heavy packs don't go well together, as Jetrin soon found out. 

            "Ugh," he choked out as his pack swung wildly, with the straps attempting to choke him. _This is not good!_ And not good was right, since the now unbalanced pack began to pull him downward. _AHHH!!! I'm falling!! BLOOD AND BLO— _His curse went unthought as he finally encountered the ground. His had two thoughts on his mind, or maybe three, if _OWWW!!!_ constitutes a thought. The other thoughts he had were _I hope my gun is ok_, and the second was_ hey, up in the sky. It's a bird, no, it's a plant, no wait it's a…_

            "HEY THERE BOY, ARE YOU OK?"

            _…person on a wall._ Giving a small wave to the white haired old man on the wall, Jetrin slipped his pack off his shoulders and got up. After dusting himself off, he searched for his companion… who was currently laughing so hard she was doubled over.

            "HAHAHAHAHAHA," was what she sounded like, only much more boisterous and… laugh sounding (I can't think of a word to use). Jetrin gave her a dirty look she didn't notice since she was apparently trying to suffocate herself. Her face was getting pretty red by now… _If she dies laughing at least I'll get her for making fun of me. No wait, forget that, there's no bloody way someone's going to die laughing at my expense._

Ignoring the hysterically laughing Meria, he yelled up to the person on the wall.

            "I'M ALRIGHT. AND YES, THIS MAD PERSON HERE IS NAMED MERIA. ONE QUESTION THOUGH…"

            The person on the wall considered for a moment, then deciding a question would be alright, he responded by saying, "GO AHEAD AND ASK"

            "WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? YOU'RE NOT THAT FAR AWAY!"

            The sentry looked abashed, as well he should have. The wall was only about fifteen feet high. You could comfortably speak at that distance without shouting quite as loudly as those two were a minute before.

            "Well, we don't really get many people outside the wall, and I thought I had to shout to get you to hear me."

            _Well… looks like I've arrived in the village of idiots. Wonder what they're village idiot is like_.

            Shaking away those thoughts, Jetrin lifted his pack off the ground and onto his shoulders. Looking sideways to check on Meria, he saw she was now merely wheezing instead of laughing. Next, he called back up to the sentry.

            "Tell me, how do I get into you're little town here? I want a place to rest, and I've just rescued one of your townsfolk here from bandits. I'm tired, so let me in."

            The sentry thought for a few moments, then he replied, "The entrance is on the other side. Just walk around, you can't miss it."

            _He has got to be kidding. Dear, dear Light, please let him be kidding… _Looking at the serious expression on the sentry's face, he could see that it was the honest-to-goodness, Light forsaken truth. Jetrin, after walking all the way to this town had to know walk around it… In the blazing hot sun… with dust everywhere… and a red faced woman who looked just about ready to burst out laughing everytime she looked at him. _Just bloody wonderful._

            With a dark expression on his face, he fixed the sentry with a cold glare. Calmly, yet coldly, he asked the sentry, "Could you at least tell me the name of this town?" _I wonder what the name of a Light forsaken town in the Pit of Doom could be?_

"Welcome to Edmonds Field, in the Two Rivers," the sentry replied cheerily.

____________________________END OF CH.2________________________________

Reviews=2

 Huh… I've got reviews… KICK ASS!!! YES! WOO-HOO!! I AM THE BEST! THE GREATEST GUY IN THE WORLD!!!

Thank you people who reviewed. As for those who didn't… did you know that that's just plain wrong? It's like going to a movie without paying for it. Reviewing isn't just a privilege, it's the law.

Now… time to respond:

ElfIcarrii- Thirteen? We're are you getting you're numbers from? I got the latest one that's out in hardcover, and that's number ten, _Crossroads of Twilight_. If there _are_ thirteen out, I'm really out of the loop.

Ranma-41- The timeline I chose is somewhere in the beginning of _Lord of Chaos_, when Perrin left the Two Rivers. At the very least, it takes place during or just after _Lord of Chaos_, I'm not sure yet. Everything will develop eventually, just wait and see.

Well, there you go. I finally got ch.2 up. It's only been what, a month? Not that long. What, you want me to update faster? Well… maybe maybe not… it all depends really. On what, you ask? On whether I feel like writing. Sometimes the mood strikes me and sometimes it don't. *shrug* whatever. Anyway, as I go along with my story, I don't think that any of the WOT characters will make an appearance, so if you're reading this just for them, forget about it. Anyway, this is the Inferno, signing off.


	3. Always look both ways

Welcome everyone, to another installment of Guns and Illuminators, this is your captain speaking, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

And so begins the third chapter…

_______________________________BEGIN__________________________________

_Walking, walking, walking. I'm always walking. Burn it! Why can't I ever get a break here!_

Jetrin wasn't very happy at the moment. After his conversation with the watchman, he'd begun walking around the walls of this "Edmonds Field", wherever that was. He'd checked his gun, just to see if it was broken, when, joy of joys, it was bent out of shape. _They better have a blacksmith here, _he thought darkly.

 The first long moments of silence were all right, yet after a while, he felt irritated enough of it to turn and ask Meria, who had lagged behind, a question.

"Tell me Meria, why exactly does your town have a big wall around it… with only one entry… facing away from the direction most people would arrive. It's not exactly genius."

Meria looked at him as if he were a fool. "If we placed the entry in the direction of the main road, any attackers would have an easy way in. Putting it on the other side makes it safer." She said this all in a matter of fact tone.

_Oh, of course. I certainly heard of people attacking towns in the middle of nowhere. I also know all about the towns with only one entry. There's only one town like that, and that's this bloody foolish town._ Although Jetrin wanted to say all this, he held back. Instead he asked, "Who would attack this town? And why?"

Meria, having now caught up to Jetrin, continued past him. _Well go ahead, ignore my question, walk right by me you little…_ Jetrin would have finished that thought, but she responded as she walked on.

"Trollocs, Whitecloaks, Myrdraals, they've all attacked us not too long ago. We have to keep safe, so we've been building a wall." 

_Trollocs, Whitecloaks, and Myrdraals?!?! What kind of town have I landed in? _Jetrin, not wanting to be left behind, started walking too. Keeping a steady pace, he repeated the latter half of his previous question. 

"What were they here for?"

"They came for Lord Perrin," Meria answered. Jetrin noticed that she spoke the name Lord Perrin with respect, a tone of voice he did not expect from her.

Well, looks like she can be respectful… Wait, Perrin… I've heard that name before, at an inn maybe? Now what was it again…? Perrin something, Perrin something something, Perrin Golden something. Oh wait, I've got it, it was…

"Perrin Goldenpies!" he shouted out. But after thinking for a moment, _what would someone called Goldenpies do? Bake well?_, he mumbled to himself, "No wait, that's not right either…"

His sudden shout brought Meria's attention on him. She looked a bit insulted at what he said. Stopping for a moment, she waited until he reached her and hit him lightly with the back of her hand.

"Ouch. Hey, what was that for?" asked Jetrin with a perplexed expression. _That hurt about as much as a snowflake falling on me… when I'm wearing a heavy coat._

Meria replied indignantly, "That's for insulting Lord Perrin. It's Perrin Golden_eyes_, not pies. Where would you get such a stupid name from? Do you think he's famous for baking?"

_…well that's exactly what I was thinking a second ago. _He knew better than to say that though. Instead he said, "Well I'm sorry. I got that name from overhearing some other people's conversation. They may have said eyes, but I was hungry at the time so I heard pies."

She still looked indignant, so Jetrin quickly began to try diverting her attention. "So, this Lord Perrin of yours, Trollocs, Whitecloaks, and Myrdraals wanted him. I can only assume that you and your fellow townsfolk fought a battle against those hostile forces and won."

Meria looked less indignant as he spoke. "Yes," she said, "all that happened, then Lord Perrin suggested that we build a wall around our town in order to protect it. However, he left not too long ago, and we're still working on the wall."

Ahh… well I guess that explains the wall to me. And I guess… hey, wait. If the walls not completed, why is it that I've only been seeing completed parts so far?

"Excuse me, Meria. If the wall is incomplete, how come all we've been seeing is complete portions of it?"

"Well Jetrin, this half if the wall is complete. The opposite side is still being worked on."

_…oh come on. That's just not right._ "You mean to tell me, that if instead of turning left, if I had turned right I would be in the town by now?"

Meria thought for a second then nodded. "Yes, I guess you would," she agreed.

AUGHHH!!! WHY DOES THIS KIND OF THING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!!! Because of one wrong turn, I've had to walk for a much longer time than I needed to! Light, burn my bones to ash!

______________________________FINISH___________________________________

Huh. Jetrin's got a lot of stupid problems, doesn't he? He keeps his thoughts to himself but he gets pissed a lot. I don't think he'll suffer too much, especially since this fic is only supposed to be partly humorous, but who knows? They havent's even gone _into_ Edmonds Field yet. Maybe Jetrin just attracts problems. Eh, what are you gonna do?

Reviews:

She Who Walks the Night: Sorry about not responding before. I wrote the chapter and had updated when I thought to myself, "Let me check my reviews. I may have some more!" So I couldn't respond. As for Jetrin's sarcasm, at least he keeps it to himself, right? And thanks for the tip about anonymous reviews. I though it was already set to accept, but now I've fixed it, so thanks again.

Jonathon Ryder: Jay? Who's Jay? What's a titchy? As for E[d]monds Field, that was a mistake. I would go change that, but hey, let's see how many people notice it. As for the chick, just some random resident of Edmonds Field who didn't exist in the books. Nothing special really, at least not so far. As for the Word to html thing, I like having spaces between paragraphs. I think it helps the reader keep organized if everything isn't mashed together.

Dave: Well… Thanks, thanks, and thanks again.


	4. Pyrotechnics plus old people equals bad

Written Stuff = Flashback

And so continues the epic tale of… oh, wait, it's just about Jetrin. Well, here's the next part. Read it… yeah.

______________________________Start _____________________________________

            _The Creator hates me._

            This was the thought foremost in Jetrin's mind as he continued towards the entrance of Edmonds Field. All his other thoughts were quite similar to that one thought, such as _The Dark One's out to get me_ and _The Wheel doesn't like weaving for me._ Jetrin had only one hope left.

            _When I get to that town, all I want now is a hot meal, a hot bath, and a hot bed. Ummm… I mean a soft bed. Light, I'm tired._

            Meria being blind to his discomfort decided this was the perfect time to question him. 

            " Hey you, Jetrin, can I ask you a question?"

             _Well, you just did, so no, _was the thought on his mind, but instead he just shrugged his shoulders. Taking this for a yes, Meria asked him her question.  
  


            "Exactly what is that gun of yours? Is it something that uses the Power? Do you just use it to try to disguise you can channel? What is it?"

            _I thought I told her I couldn't channel._ Jetrin thought carefully. _Why in the Pit of Doom would she think my gun has anything to do with bloody channeling, besides the fire appearing out of nowhere and the loud noise and so on. Oh, right._

            "My gun has nothing to do with the Power. Anyone can use it if they know how. Anyway, I'd rather answer the rest of your questions in comfort since the entrance to your incredibly walled town is right there."

            And so it was. The wall ended into a gap fashioned into a rounded gateway, while on the **other** side of the gateway, there was nothing more than a few feet of wall. Seeing it, Jetrin sighed to himself.

            _Well, looks like she was telling the truth. Bloody wonderful._

            "Let's get moving. I want a nice room before the day is completely through." Jetrin said. _And, I can finally get rid of you. Praise be the Creator._

            Jetrin continued forward, with Meria trailing behind. As soon as they entered the gates, a female voice called out.

            "Meria, there you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

            _Eh? Who's that? What's that? Where's that? How, why, and when is that?_ Jetrin glanced around for a disembodied voice yet again. At least this voice was on the ground with him. He quickly spotted a middle-aged couple heading towards him and Meria.

            "Meria, are those your parents?" he asked. 

            "Yes," was her answer, but she seemed kind of  discomforted.

            The couple reached them, and the man caught her up in a big hug, the woman joining in soon after. They released her soon, and began checking her over for hurts.

            "Meria, dear," the woman who seemed to be Meria's mother asked, "Where have you been. We've been looking all over for you, half the town's been out looking for you! Where have you been?"

            _A happy family scene… it's been a long time since I've seen one of these. Even longer since I was a part of one…_

"GET OUT OF MY HOME!"

                "FINE! I'M NEVER COMING BACK FATHER! DON'T COME CRYING 

     TO ME WHEN YOU'RE IN DANGER!"

_Ugh… bad memories. _Looking at the family scene once more, he decided to drift away._ No need to disturb the moment._ Thinking this, he turned and began walking towards a side street.

_Now to find an inn, and to get my hot meal, bath, and soft… URK!_

"Hey there son, where're you going? I want to ask you a few questions."

_What in the Light? _Turning, he found that Meria's father had gripped his pack, forcing him to stand his ground. Also, he noticed a sizeable crowd had formed, filled with men and women, old and new. _Is it even possible for a crowd to form that fast?_ His wondering was interrupted as the Meria's father asked him a question.

"Who are you, and why did you come into town with my daughter?"

_Why not ask your daughter? Ah, well.._

"The name's Jetrin Guntis, and I saved your daughter from some brigands just outside. Or maybe they were bandits. Either way, I saved her."  _There, now they should start treating me as a hero and.._

"Really?" Meria's father didn't seem very impressed. He seemed rather skeptical. "You look kind of scrawny, not very strong or smart. How could you save her?" Or maybe he was being insulting.

"He channeled!" Meria shouted out in response to her father's question. "He made fire appear and struck down the bad guy!"

_Agh… didn't anything I say get through to her._

"No, I didn't channel. Instead I…" He started his explanation, but was greeted by a kind of shocked silence. He trailed off when he noticed them looking at him fearfully. Suddenly there was an explosion of voices as they all began speaking to each other all at once.

"What do we do with a man who can channel?"

"We should kill him… no, we should throw him out!"

"A woman was saved, so this is Woman's Circle business!"

"Don't be daft, this is Village Council work!"

"Woman's Circle!"

"Village Council!"

"Woman's Circle!"

"Village Council!"

"We're all going to die!"

And it just continued like that._ Ok… they're not paying attention to me. I could just slip away, but I'd rather fix this misunderstanding first._

" Excuse me… EXCUSE ME… **EXCUSE ME!!!" **Even when he shouted his loudest, he was ignored.

_Fine then, guess I'll have to do it the hard way._

Taking out his banged up gun, he reached into his pocket for his ammo box. Finding it, he opened it and, ignoring the bullets, grabbed one of the pieces of tightly wrapped paper in there. These were his "powder packets", little papers which he filled with gunpowder and tightly packed it in. They were twisted to prevent any powder from spilling.

Grabbing one, he opened up a special compartment located near the butt of his gun. He placed the packed in and closed it. Cocking back the hammer, he pointed the gun straight into the air. Then, he pulled the trigger.

The deafening bang sliced through the arguing townsfolk and silenced them. 

"All right then," Jetrin began again, "now that I've got you attention, let me tell you that I don't channel. Instead, I use…"

"ARG… MY HEART!"

_What the?_ An old man was gripping at his chest and was quite red. _Oh boy… this sucks._ The old man toppled over.

"Someone get the Wisdom!" someone in the crowd shouted. "That male channeler may have killed Cenn Buie! Somebody catch him before he kills anyone else!"

_Oh for the love of…_ He felt something strike the back of his head hard. _Guess there was someone behind me… well, down I go._

_________________________________END__________________________________

Setting: Authorspace

Character: TwilightInferno and Jetrin.

(TwilightInferno is typing away at his computer. Jetrin appear.)

Jetrin: What in the bloody light was that?!?

TI (TwilightInferno): What do you mean?

J: You don't write for such along time, and when you do you throw me in jail?!? In 

    Edmonds Field jail too. Do they even have a jail?

TI: Well not a jail per se, but they'll put you somewhere.

J: And what's with you always screwing around with my life. If I'm a hero, shouldn't 

    good things be happening to me?

TI: *shrugs* I guess, but where's the fun in that.

J: …You're really evil, you know that right?

TI: Yup.

Reviews:

Seishi: Well thanks, it's always nice to hear my story is loverly. As for the semi-real-

 plot thingy, soon it might be a fully real plot thingy.

She Who Walks The Night: Yup, he does have problems. As for Perrin, this is around Lord of Chaos, so Perrin just left. He's probably with Rand by now. And here's my update, sorry it's late.

Robert Jordan: Wait, Robert Jordan? THE Robert Jordan? Probably not, but whatever. Yeah, I see that my story is a bit lame. Do I care? Yes. Will I make it better? *shrug* I dunno. And I'm sorry it's a touch mind. Next I'll try to make it a touch body.


	5. Don't tilt your chairs kiddies, it can c...

Type, type, type. Type, type, type. Type, type, type. Done! Now just scroll down and read all you… reading… type… people out there!

__________Begin_________________________________________________________

Jetrin opened his eyes slowly, and met a stone ceiling. Looking to his side, he found four stone walls, one containing a window while another contained a door, and a small table and chair. Feeling beneath him, he felt a soft bed. Looking back at the ceiling, he stared at it for a while longer.

_I am so bored,_ was the thought foremost in Jetrin's mind. That and, _I wonder if they'll give me ANYTHING to do. I've been in here for THREE days! Three whole bloody days, being bored out of my mind! If they throw me in here, they should have at least given me something to do! A book, a knife and some wood to whittle, even a bloody ANYTHING would make me happy, but no, they just threw me in here, WITHOUT PROVOCATION, and left me here._

Jetrin had had a difficult time after that "incident" with the old man. After being knocked out, he'd woken up to this room. Apparently this room was actually one of the many spare rooms in their Lord Perrin's home.

You'd think that if they can build this big house, they could get a proper jail. Or, at least make the rooms in the lord's home more decorated. This room is so bloody boring. The Pit of Doom is probably like this. Looking at the same walls over and over, day after day… it's so BORING!

The people of this town, even though they imprisoned him and seemed to fear him for his supposed channeling abilities, had at least treated him decently. His "cell" could have passed for an ordinary inn room, and the food they gave him could also have been served in inns. The whole ordeal was like being in an inn where you couldn't leave your room, keep your belongings or do anything. The only difficult part would have to be…

_LIGHT, IT'S BORING!!!!_

…the boredom.

_I need something to do,_ Jetrin thought, _I guess I'll just look out my window again._ Following his thought, he got up and off the bed, and headed towards the window. Once reaching it, he looked around outside. He was greeted by the same sight as before. A large tree outside his window, and some children playing outside.

Hmm… I wonder how this tree is so high, and how there's only one tree? I'm on the second floor, and this building is pretty new, so how did this one tree grow so large so fast? Unless the people built this manor right next to a single large tree… which is stupid… which fits with how the people here think. 

Jetrin began to examine the tree carefully for about the tenth time since he first arrived. It appeared to be a rather sturdy tree, still with a few green leaves despite the heat and the drought that had stricken the land. Looking carefully, he could see that there were some small handholds cut into the tree, as if to make it easier for children to climb it. The same thought crossed his mind as when he first saw it.

…Are they trying to make it easy for me? If I wanted to, I could probably climb out, but if I did, I'd lose all my stuff, especially my gun. I really can't lose that. They might have been thinking I wouldn't leave without my stuff, but still…I don't now why this surprises me. 

Giving up on the tree since he didn't want to leave anything behind, he wandered back into the room and sat on the one chair. He began to tilt his chair back and began to think about why he was put here.

_This town is so stupid. The people here too. If they think I tried to kill that old man, they're really wrong. And, even if I did try to kill him, why would they think I channeled? Beyond that idiotic town girl saying that I could channel, they have no way of proving that. And, if I could channel, why haven't I escaped yet, leaving fire and death in my wake? Those bloody idiots can't even think out something as simple as that. Bloody idiots._

Caught up in these thoughts, Jetrin began to lean even farther and farther back, until he was just teetering on the edge of the chair leg. Still leaning, the stresses caused by his weight being focused mainly on the back legs began to take their toll. An ominous creaking sound filled the air, but Jetrin was too busy thinking dark thoughts to notice. He kept leaning and leaning, and the chair began groaning and creaking louder, then…

A knocking was heard at the door. Jetrin, still leaning, looked at the door.

"Yeah, what do you want?" He said brusquely, irritated for being forced out of his thoughts.

"Jetrin Guntis, may I enter please?" A male voice was heard from outside the door.

_Doesn't sound like anyone I know, but who would I know here anyway?_

"Go ahead, it's not like this is my room or something. It all belongs to your town after all."

"Of course. I'm coming in."

Jetrin was still leaning on his chair, looking at the door. Unfortunately, the stresses had finally reached a critical point, and the legs of the chair gave out. A loud sound of splintering wood filled the air, a sharp crack as the legs snapped in two.

Jetrin, rather than yelling out, just took the fall. He thumped onto the ground, back first, still sitting in the chair. He was still in this horizontal seating position when his 'guest' walked in.

"What's this?!? What happened here?!?"

Jetrin looked up at his visitor and replied as if nothing was out of the ordinary, "My chair's just decided that it wanted me to sit in a new way. I didn't want to, but it just went in that direction and took me with it." _And Light, this falling down is starting to get really irritating._

________End____________________________________________________________

Scene: Twilight Inferno is sleeping in a chair in front of his computer, Jetrin walks in.

J: Hey, T.I., what's up with you not writi… are you sleeping?

T: *snore*

J: Burn you T.I., wake up. 

Jetrin walks up to T.I., and tilts the chair to tumble T.I. out.

T: Gah! Who, what, where, how, and sometimes why!

J: Good, you're up. Get typing.

T: What? Hey, I just woke up. Give me time.

J: What. It's been like THREE WEEKS!

T: So I procrastinate, every does.

J: For THREE WEEKS?!? Write already. People are probably wondering what happened 

    to me. Type man, type!

T: Sheesh, alright. It's not like anyone cares about you. But if it'll get you off my case,  

     I'll type. *grumble* let's see how you like falling out of chairs.

J: What? I didn't here that.

T: It's nothing, just wait for the chapter.

J: Right, now TYPE!

Reviews:

Seishi: I would think so! Anyway, it's not Jetrin's fault it took him forever to get around 

a wall, here's his perspective:

             Jetrin: Is this on? All right, Seishi, you want to hear my side of the story? You 

want to know why it took me two chapters to get around a BLOODY WALL?!?    

It  was horrible writing! Look at this guy! He could have made those two wall  

chapters, and that town chapter into one long chapter. But LIGHT! He had to   

draw it out! Because  he's bloody lazy! And you know what else?!?…

            Twilight Inferno: Well, there were some technical difficulties, so that's all you'll 

hear from Jetrin I'm afraid. Hope that's a good response.

She Who Walks the Night: Actually, it's just a heart attack. Since no one in the WoT 

world as guns, I'd assume the noise would shock people, and if they're old, it's a natural reaction. Also, he's not dead. Just heart attacked. And yes, Jetrin is really unlucky. With someone like me writing this story, his long list of suffering has just begun (J: WHAT?!?)

Lazy Rob (Since I don't feel like copy and pasting your name):

Thanks. I wouldn't say Jetrin's brilliant, I'd say he's something more like slow (J: Hey! I am brilliant!   T.I.: Shut it you!). Uhhh… maybe not slow, just different. Yeah, that works.

Note:   One more thing, I've noticed that sometimes after I upload a chapter, some italics disappear. This happened like three times already. I re-upload them, but it's the same, so I just used them to update. If you can't tell Jetrin's thoughts compared to my story, sorry. If it gets irritating, I'll try to fix it, or at least put his thoughts as something other than italics. Thanks.


	6. Meet the only nonidiot in the idiot vill...

And God said, "Let this chapter be emotional." And so it was. And Jetrin was pissed. No, seriously, he's gonna be pissed. 

Also, if you see things in parentheses, it's me speaking. (because I can) It only happens twice, so don't worry.

________go______________________________________________________________

            Jetrin gazed up at the man who had just entered the room. From his vantage point on the ground, he could look straight up at the newcomers face, and see some nose hai… (You don't need to know this, do you?  What, you do? I am not going to describe what Jetrin saw up the new guy's nose, so don't push it. Moving along now…)

            Jetrin spoke up, "So, what can I do for you? There's not much I can offer to do, what with me being trapped in this room and all, but I can suggest that you should get a trim."

(…Oh dear God… I hate Jetrin so much right now…)

            The newcomer looked confused, but decided to just go with it rather than questioning this strange comment. Clearing his throat, he began to speak.

            "Ahem, Jetrin Guntis? My name is Kevan al'Derin, and I've come to speak with you on the situation you're in… and please stand up. It is quite uncomfortable to speak to a person who is laying at my feet."

            _Uncomfortable for him? Why not for me? After all, I just fell with my BLOODY CHAIR! And he doesn't even ask if I'm all right… at least it's not boring any more… it just hurts a little._

            Lifting himself off the ground, he carefully stood, avoiding the now splintered chair as well as he could. Once standing, he brushed off all the wood chips which had stuck to him, carefully avoiding any splinters… unfortunately, he's Jetrin.

            _Gah! Bloody Light, this bloody splinter is driving itself into my skin! Pain is not a good feeling. Most definitely not._

Having brushed himself off fairly decently, Jetrin began picking at the splinter, which had jammed itself into his hand, trying to get it out. His guest had been standing patiently, but was now starting to fidget just a tiny bit. Semi-oblivious, Jetrin continued quietly picking at the splinter. After a few more moments, Jetrin looked up and waved Kevan towards the bed.

            "If you want to sit down, go ahead," he said. "I'd offer you the chair, but I'm pretty certain you don't want to sit on it, it being broken and all…" Then he went back to picking at the splinter.

            Kevan al'Derin continued to stand and watch Jetrin, ignoring the bed as a possible place to sit. Finally, a few moments later, Jetrin removed the splinter. Then, he stuck his now splinterless, yet now throbbing finger, into his mouth. Doing this, he was finally able to give his undivided attention to his guest.

            Kevan al'Derin was a middle-aged man, with dark, almost graying hair. He was of an average build, with no outstanding qualities to his appearance, but something about him stirred Jetrin's memory.

            _Kevan al'Derin, something about him is familiar… but what?_

            "So… you don't want to sit?" Jetrin asked.

            Kevan replied, "No, I am quite well. Actually, I came here because I wished to talk to you, and that can be done as easily standing as sitting. If you would like to sit, by all means go ahead, do not let me trouble you."

            Jetrin looked at the guy again, and answered back. "Maybe I will maybe I won't… do I know you from somewhere?"

            Kevan smiled a little at this comment. "We met for a short time in the town. You brought my daughter home."

            _Brought his daughter home… wait, Kevan al'Derin…Meria al'Derin… daughter, so this must be…_

            "So you're Meria's father?" Kevan nodded. Jetrin was surprised at this. He didn't expect Meria to have such a mellow parent. "Well, nice to meet you. You have a very…" _active? strange? violent?_ "…interesting daughter."

            Kevan smiled even more at this. " I'm sure you have much more… descriptive words than that which you wish to use, but are refraining from voicing them merely for politeness sake."

            _Bloody yes._

            "She is like that due to how she had been raised."

            _Guess how much I care,_ was what Jetrin wanted to say, but he didn't want to get rid of his only non-boring thing in days. At least this would give him something to do for a short while. 

            "Oh? And how was she raised?"

            "To speak her mind and to make her own decisions. If she desired for something or desired to do something it was her choice. The consequences that came were also dealt with by her. It has made her… willful… to say the least."

            Jetrin agreed, but kept his opinions silent. _That's a nice way to grow up though, _Jetrin thought to himself,_ not like with my father._ Shaking off old memories, he wondered where this one-way conversation was going.

            "Over the years, she has tried many new things, given up on some, and expanded on others. My wife and I have always supported her. However, after the events of not too long ago, Meria has had her head filled with stories of heroes and adventures. She wishes to see the world. My wife and I would like to support her and let her experience it, but it is dangerous out there."

            Jetrin thought he could see where this story was going, and he didn't like it. He wanted to steer this conversation elsewhere, but by now it was too late. Kevan had picked up steam and was going all the way.

            "If you had not protected her, and helped her back, who knows what could have happened? If she had a companion who knows the world to keep her safe and to show her new sights, I could let her go, which I truly do desire. Unfortunately, there is no one who can help her in this town. The few travelers who journey out here are worn and usually come to settle down in a nice country area, so they rarely leave. And even if they did, how could I persuade one of them to keep my daughter safe and to show her the world? What a troubling dilemma."

            Having said all this, Kevan fell silent. Jetrin began to think carefully how to get out of this puzzle.

            _Looks like he wants me to show his daughter the world. If that's how he feels, he can bloody well burn in the Pit of Doom. I've got enough trouble on my hands traveling alone. I don't need to baby sit someone else too. But I can't just say no. He could get offended and get everyone in the town wanting to kill me… which is not good.  Anyway, how does he know he can trust me? Why me? This silence is lasting way too long; I've got to say something!_

Jetrin felt he had to say something to show he sympathized with Kevan and wanted to help, without actually saying he could help, so he decided on something which he thought would be safe. 

"Well, that is a difficult problem. Almost as bad as being trapped in a room for doing nothing and not being able to leave. Why, I bet solving either would require quite a bit of thinking, but I'm not that good at thinking things out or else I'd have gotten out by now. Sorry I can't help, but I have my own problems."

Kevan gave a little grin at this. "Oh, but you can Jetrin, you can."

            _Burn it. I've got to be careful, I'm treading on thin ice here._

            Jetrin decided on an innocent approach. "Really? How?"

            Kevan replied, "You could take Meria with you when you leave. This way, she can go with you on your travels."

            Jetrin gave another innocent remark. "But I'm stuck in here. How can I get out?"

            Kevan had an answer to this as well. "I can probably convince the Council to free you. I have quite a bit of sway."

_Oh, burn it. Innocence can bloody well rot. I've got to get out of this bear trap, even if I have to gnaw my leg off._

            Jetrin shot off two more questions. "How would you convince them? They think I'm a male channeler. What kind of sway have you got?"

            Kevan responded easily yet again. "I know you're not a channeler. You're an Illuminator."

            _What! How did he…this type of back and forth question and answer feels familiar. Him countering all my questions with logical answers… forcing his choices onto me…  just like…_

            Kind of shaken now, Jetrin spoke another question. "What makes you say I'm an Illuminator? What proof do you have?"

            Kevan continued his answers relentlessly. "I'm a merchant. I've been to many a city, and I've seen and heard Illuminator fireworks. More to the point, I've smelt the unique… aroma, as it were, afterwards. It smelled the same as when you did whatever it was you did. And I know that only Illuminators have knowledge on how fireworks work."

            _He really can get me out, if he can convince the townsfolk that I'm not evil! But I'd be burdened with his daughter. Bloody Light forsaken Pit of Doom! If he can get me out, he can lock me in! I have to agree to his conditions, or at least find a reason I shouldn't be made to do this!_

            Jetrin began to grow a bit panicked by now and started grasping at straws. "But, but, even if I am an Illuminator, and I'm free, and I can go, and I take your daughter with me, I don't have the money for it! The resources! The, the, the…"

            Kevan gave a harsh, animal grin, and leapt in for the kill. "I can give you twenty-five gold crowns, Andoran weight, if you agree. And, I can give you horses, food, and clothing enough for several weeks travel."

            _AUGH!!! There's no way out, at least not without damning myself to this bloody town! Burn this man for his slick talk and merchant ways. I'm always on the losing end of arguments, just like it always was with…_

Defeated, Jetrin stumbled over to the bed and collapsed onto it. Staring at the ceiling, he spoke up. 

"Fine. You win. I'll show you're daughter the world, or at least the places I'll be going."

Making his way to the door, Kevan responded to this comment. "That's all I ask for. Nothing more."

Jetrin chuckled quietly. As Kevan stepped out, Jetrin called out again.

"You know, you remind me a lot of my father."

"Oh? How so?"

"He also always found a way to make everyone do what he wanted. With well thought out arguments or with a thick piece of wood… he was always right."

A short silence greeted this statement. Then, Kevan spoke again.

"I am a merchant. I have to maneuver business associates into doing what I desire them to do, or else my business would fail. However, my cold maneuverings are only as a businessman. Outside of work, to my family especially, I am a kind hearted individual. I have never hurt those close to me or maneuvered them into my own decisions. It is their own choice. As I said, I brought up my daughter to speak her mind and to make her own decisions. I do not know your father, but his way is not my own. Do not compare me to one who must argue with force and not words."

"Words have a force of their own."

"You are correct, but my words have an easier force than a piece wood would, do they not?"

"Yes… I guess. My father could learn a lot from you, if he's still the same…" _It's been three years since I've been home… maybe my father could have changed in that time…_

"Thank you. Perhaps I may meet him someday and teach him."

Jetrin chuckled softly at that comment. "I doubt that. He never leaves home and he always thinks he's right. Trying to change him is like trying to cut water. If you're fast enough and you watch carefully, it looks like you're doing something, but once you leave it alone for less than a second, the water flows back as if nothing happened."

"Hmph… rest well Jetrin Guntis. I will arrange for you to leave tomorrow morning." With that, Kevan closed the door.

A locking noise was heard. Jetrin sighed. _If I could leave, I could get out of this town and leave without the girl._ He turned his head towards the window, and at the tree outside. _I can leave, but I'd have to leave my pack behind. _Turning his head to stare back at the ceiling, he closed his eyes. _I can't do that… at least I get some gold crowns out of this._ _I wish I could have stayed bored instead._ _I guess I'll just sleep for now._ Drifting off to sleep, Jetrin made one last comment.

            "Blood and bloody ashes…"

_________stop___________________________________________________________

Scene: Over there

J: All right… What the Bloody Pit of Doom was that?!? I have a traveling companion now?

T: Well… yeah. You didn't think Meria was gone, did you?

J: Well I was kind of hoping… anyway, where's the emotion you said would be in this chapter? The pissed part was true, but not the emotion part.

T: Well there was emotion, just not the one I wanted. I actually wanted you to be all angsty about how your father was in your life, when compared with how Kevan treated you.

J: Well, that didn't work. Tell me, Kevan is now gone from the story, right?

T: *shrug* prob'ly. Why? Don't you like him?

J: In a word, no. He's irritating.

T: Some people would say that about this whole "me talking to you" section.

J: That mostly because it's a "you talking to you" section. I'm you, or at least I'm a figment of your imagination, so this whole conversation is you and yourself. In other words, you're crazy.

T: …just for pointing that out, in a later chapter you'll be hit with a huge problem.

J: Oooh… I'm frightened… NOT!

T: Just wait… as soon as I can work it in, YOU'RE SCREWED!!! *maniacal laughter*

J: Whatever. I have the last word anyway.

Reviews:

Seishi: Uhh… yeah. About the rather… extreme review… blame Jetrin. He's the one who said it! (J: Ahem. If you read the above conversation between me and TI, you can see that he is actually blaming himself; therefore, he truly is crazy.  T: Ahem, Jetrin?   J:  Yes?    T: SHUT UP!) …ignore that please and blame Jetrin.

She Who Walks the Night: Jetrin just comes out as sarcastic. Actually he's being very serious at times, as you can see from this chapter. And, as for update soon, this chapter is a whole one thousand words more than my usual updates, so Hooray!

Comment to the readers and not reviewers: You know… if you read, you can review too. Just push the little button down there. From my reviews, I can assume only like 5 or 6, maybe 7 readers are reading this… (I don't feel like checking the exact number) As long as you have comments about my writing or how the story's going, it's okay. Even if you feel like flaming, go ahead, but constructive criticism is much preferred. I enjoy the "good work" reviews, but I would like to know how to become a better writer. Point out my errors and show me how to do better. That's all I ask for. And of course, you can only do that by reviewing. At least this way I know people are reading this.


	7. This is the end of the idiot village and...

Well… sorry about the late chapter… I have an excuse… no, never mind I don't. And, for anyone reading this chapter months from when it was updated (January 2004), this was a really late update. Something like over a month late. Well, let's see what's happening now. 

________________________YAHOO!!!____________________________________

_Ugh… I hate early mornings._

Jetrin wasn't exactly the best person to hold conversation with in morning times. Without time to perk up, he would, at best, be a moody, quiet kind of guy. And, this time wasn't any different.

Who would want to wake up at this Light-forsaken time anyway, much less work. I mean, the bloody sun rose just a little while ago! I didn't even get a bloody breakfast! …of course, a breakfast without blood would have worked too…

After that conversation with Kevan, where Jetrin had "agreed" to Kevan's conditions, Jetrin slept until nightfall. Then, he awoke and looked to his window again.

Forced travel with some backwards village girl, or out the window and down the tree. Lose all my equipment and supplies, or get twenty five GOLD crowns, supplies to keep me going for weeks, and the girl… So, all that just for giving up solitude, privacy, and most likely my sanity. Wow, what a difficult decision.

And it was, and as he gazed upon the tall tree, rising next to his window, the choice became clear. He understood exactly what he should do. Supplies could be replaced, he could find a way to make another gun, provided he found a greatly skilled blacksmith, and with all that he finally came to a decision. There was one important thing he could not do without, one thing which he could not replace or get back, and that thing was…

            "Ah Jetrin, how is the morning treating you? Are you prepared for your journey?"

            _Twenty-five gold crowns. Twenty-five gold crowns. Must. Keep. Priorities. Straight._

            And yes, Jetrin's priorities were kept straight. Although not very greedy, he understood the value of money. He knew how much a crown was worth, especially a GOLD crown. His unselfish use of the money would shame anyone, no matter what kind of person they were.

 Now I'm not poor! I have money! No more sleeping in stables! No more working at inns for meals any more!

…never mind.

"Ahem… Jetrin. Are you well?"

Jetrin finally noticed the voice through his gold induced fog. Looking to his side, he saw Kevan standing right beside him. The two of them were right on the edge of the town, right by the gates. Nearby were horses, loaded with supplies for the journey. A small crowd had formed off to the side, presumably to say goodbye to Meria. Glancing around to find said center of attention, he found her missing.

"I'm all right Kevan. Just wondering why I'm already out at this Light-forsaken hour when your daughter, who I'm out here for, ISN'T HERE YET!" Jetrin had finally gotten his morning energy boost apparently, and had decided to vent some of his frustrations on Kevan. And, lets not forget that he's moody in the mornings.

Kevan looked rather unperturbed by Jetrin's aggressive remark. He answered in a condescending tone.

"My daughter is currently saying her goodbyes to her mother. As for this 'Light-forsaken hour', after a few moments, the sun shall pass its zenith. I was informed that simply waking you for this hour required a monumental effort."

Jetrin glared at Kevan. "I think any hour before noon is Light-forsaken. I can barely handle the hours after noon. Kevan, anybody who says they like these hours are liars and should be kicked right in their behinds."

Kevan continued his cool dignity. "Do you show no respect for your elders? Why must you continuously call me by my first name? I am most likely of an age with your father."

Jetrin's eye twitched slightly at this. "Well, old man, guess you're right. Maybe I should call you Master al'Derin instead of Kevan. And maybe I'll jam a stick in my eye!"

Kevan STILL was composed after Jetrin's angry comments. "Perhaps you will," was his reply.

Jetrin took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. When he felt he could speak to Kevan without wanting to throttle him, Jetrin asked an important question that had had him worried for quite some time.

"Where, if I can ask, is my gold?"

Kevan replied in his completely cool, steady voice. " It is located in the left saddlebags of the chestnut stallion. Also, I would prefer if you did not tell Meria about our… understanding."

"Oh? Why not? Why shouldn't I tell her about how you FORCED me into taking her, hmm? And what if I just drop her off at some type of village or town and run with the money, hmm?" As he spoke, he waved his arms for effect, and an old man who was a part of the goodbye group began to glare at him.

Kevan finally had a crack in his demeanor. He looked a tad out of sorts and searched for the words to explain the situation.

"Meria is… proud. If she believes herself to be a mere… charity case, she would be embarrassed and not go. I would rather she see the world and prevent her from embarrassing incidents."

"And what about me leaving her in some sort of village?" That old man was still glaring. _Kind of disturbing really. Oh look, he's leaning on a cane._

Kevan's composed attitude came back quickly as he answered this question. "You do not seem to be a bad individual. During your imprisonment, you did not use the tree located just outside your window to escape. Instead, you waited for our ruling, and you have abided to it so far. I can see that you have honor in that, and that honor should prevent you from simply abandoning my daughter."

Jetrin looked rather startled at this. _So, he knew about the tree… how could anyone not anyway? Big tree, window… I really have to stop thinking about that._

"Well, I didn't just leave, since you people had my things. Speaking of which, where are they, and what did you do with them?"

Not that I care. If one of them blew themselves up with my supplies, I'd laugh hardest. Unless he dies, in which case I run. They'd probably blame me.

"We went through your pack, however, the only object of interest was that metal tube with glass. I gazed through it, and it enlarged everything I gazed upon. When we finished, we put everything back. We were careful since it is known that Illuminator goods are dangerous."

The old man was glaring even harder at Jetrin now. He'd started hobbling toward them. Jetrin decided to ignore him and continue his conversation with Kevan.

"Oh, that thing? It's a farseer. I got it in Carhien, and it attaches to my gun to… well, never mind. Anyway, did you put everything back?"

"Yes. We returned everything, even the objects which appeared to have no use, such as that odd metal tube you call a "gun", and that little box with small metal points."

            The old man was closer now, looking pretty ornery too. Jetrin started to feel uneasy. Why exactly was and old man shambling towards him anyway?

            Pointing towards the old man, he spoke. "Umm… Kevan, who's that guy."

            Kevan looked towards the old man and recognized him immediately. 

            "Cenn Buie. You nearly killed him, if I recall."

            _Ohh… that guy. I'd better apologize._

            Closing the distance to the old man quickly, he stood right in front of the old man, just out of arm length. You never know when an old man who nearly died because of you will try to hurt you after all.

            "Umm… sorry about nearly causing your death and all that. It was all an acci-OW!!" The ow came since Cenn had just struck at Jetrin's right leg with his cane. Jetrin grabbed his leg and began hopping around on the other leg, cursing for all he was worth.

Cenn spoke up with a crotchety voice, "And that's what you get young'un. Don't try to pull your tricks on me again. I'm too tough to die!" And he hobbled away.

            _Owowowowowow. That BLOODY HURT! Stupid old man! I wish you'd died! Hitting me with you bloody stick. I'll stick you!_

            Unfortunately for Jetrin, hopping on one foot is detrimental to balance, and a few more hops and curses later…

            _The ground and I are such good friends! We meet everyday! I should really get the ground a present! I love you ground! Whee!!! …I hate this town. I'll go crazy if I stay here longer._

            "Hey Jetrin! What are you doing sleeping? It's time to go! I've been up for hours getting ready to go!"

…I hate early mornings, mornings in general, and morning people. I've met all three today. Bloody wonderful.

___________!!!OOHAY (YAHOO!!! Backwards)_______________________________

Same place as always 

J: Hey, TI! I've gotta question for… where are you?

(TI is nowhere to be found, but his computer's still on)

J: He wouldn't just leave this here, would he? Let's take a look.

(J looks at computer.)

J: He left it on word processor mode! That means, if I type something, It'll happen! What diabolical scheme can I do with this?

(5 minutes later)

J: Bloody hero mentality. I can't think of evil things. Might as well do pranks.

(J types into the computer)

At Tear 

Rand:…what is that?

(random pie hits him in the face)

Rand:…yum, random flavor.

Back with Jetrin 

J: Well… that wasn't that fun. That was kind of weird and out of character. Let's try something else.

Ebou Dar, in an inn 

Mat: It's time to toss the dice. *tosses dice*

(dice hits floor, bounces, hits floor, bounces, fits floor, bounces, hits wall on other side of inn and starts bouncing back)

Mat: What in the bloody Pit of Doom?

(Other gamblers start edging away from him. Mat still watches the dice)

Jetrin again 

J: This is boring. Where is TI anyway? Oh, wait, I know what to do!

(Jetrin types 'Bring TI here')

(TI appears)

J: There you are! Now… you're in a bed… and you're sleeping.

TI: *snore*

J:… … … WAKE UP!!!

TI: AHHHH!!! *wakes up* (as if you couldn't tell)

J: Finally! Where've you been all this time?

TI: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

J: I BROUGHT YOU HERE!

TI: WHY?

J: TO WRITE A NEW CHAPTER!

TI: STOP YELLING!!

J: NO, YOU STOP YELLING!

TI: OK… I mean ok.

J: Right, chapter please.

TI: I just updated. Now go away. I go to sleep now.

J: I mean the next chapter, and it's ten o'clock!

TI: Later, and that's early.

J: …at night.

TI: Then it's late. Goodnight.

J: Why did this chapter take so long anyway?

TI: School vacation=no working at anything. After school start=too much work to do.

J: …Do the next one soon at least.

TI: *snore*

J: Fine then. *types on computer*

TI: *vanishes*

J: *looks up* He should be back soon. I only sent him up about five hundred feet or so.

Meanwhile in Ebou Dar 

(Dice is still rolling, and has not slowed down. The inn is nearly empty.)

Mat: *still watching dice*

(...nearly)

REVIEWS

insane1: Well, thanks. Wait until I get around to the later chapters. The real plot starts in like another five to ten chapters.

Shralk: I actually wanted a lot of humor in the beginning. People always get drawn into funny storylines more easily than into serious, sad, or other types.

Bad Luck Charm: Why'd you change your name? Anyway, here's the next chapter, which is also the final chapter with Edmonds Field. That's about all that happens, nothing really essential to anything in this chapter.

Lord of Distraction: Well, sorry about the super late update. I knew that I'd get a review like this eventually. Anyway, what suspense? It was pretty obvious what was going to happen, right? 

Right, that's it. I'll try to get the next chapter up in the first week of Februrary, and maybe another one in the last week. (or maybe somewhere in between too!… but maybe not.)


	8. Well now we know where to go, so let's g...

Technically, it's still Saturday when I'll post this, no matter what it says on the update date, so it's still the first week of February for me, so I beat the system. So no saying I didn't update this one quickly.

_____________It's go time_________________________________________________

            Jetrin had been sitting atop the horse, as it plodded along the forest trail, trying to keep focused. But, it had been hours since he'd left the village, and he'd been unable to check for his gold the whole time. Actually, he probably would have checked it before leaving the village if it hadn't been for what Kevan said to him. He decided he'd check it later tonight…

            "So Jetrin, can you at least tell me where you're going? If you want me to come along, you might as well give me an idea of where I'm ending up." 

            …As soon as his irritating baggage went to sleep.

            _No, not baggage. Baggage has a use. This is more like a curse. A curse I accepted for some gold. And, I don't even know if the gold is really there. Wonderful._

            Jetrin knew he should have checked his bags as soon as he could. But, if the gold had actually been in there, he would have broken his 'deal' with Kevan, and it's not like he wanted **that** to happen.

            "Well, talk already. I haven't got all day. If you don't decide on a direction, I'll go by myself. Don't think I won't!" Meria kicked her horse up from the steady pace to a trot to add more force to her threat.

            _Oh but if only you would. Of course, I told Kevan I would take care of you, so I'd just have to follow… and I'm not following some girl who's never left her village. Especially since she probably has no idea where anything is._

Thinking for a moment, he decided to tell her his destination.

            "Illian."

            Meria looked surprised. "What? Illian? What's that?"

            _Right. She has no idea where Illian is. Or that it's a city. She probably only knows places like Caemlyn and Cairhien. Or Tar Valon, of course. Everyone knows those three._

            Suppressing a sigh, he answered her question tiredly. "Illian is a city in the South. The main city of the country of Illian. I've heard there's been trouble down there, so I've decided to go there."

            She looked confused at this explanation. "If there's trouble, wouldn't you want to ignore it? Wouldn't it be kind of dangerous there?"

            Jetrin scratched his head at her comment. "Er… I guess normally people would, but this rumor is a bit old, so by now, or by the time I get there, the trouble should die down. And, if the troubles gone, people will want to celebrate, right? And, that's where I come in."

            Meria looked even more confused by this explanation, so Jetrin decided to 'connect the dots' for her.

            "I'm an Illuminator. I have fireworks. People who celebrate like having fireworks. I sell them fireworks and earn money. Good for me, good for them. Everybody's happy. Get it?"

            _Of course, if Kevan put the gold in my bag, I don't have to worry about money for a while._

            Meria made an exasperated noise. "You don't have to treat me like an idiot you know. I would have figured it out."

            _Yeah, but we don't have the time for that._

            "And, why Illian? I've never heard of Illian. Why not Caemlyn or Cairhien or Tar Valon? Those are places everyone knows."

            _…Right. I knew she would think about those places._

            With a shake of his head and a suppressed grin, he answered he replied smoothly.

            "I've already been to all three of those places, I've just come from Caemlyn, and the only place I haven't been too in a while is Illian."

            Meria took a moment to digest this information, and then responded with another question.

            "How many places have you been anyway? You've been to a lot of places haven't you?"

            _How should I know? This'll take me a while to figure out._

            Thinking carefully for a moment, he began reciting the names of all the places he'd been out loud and counted them out on his fingers.

            "Caemlyn, Cairhien, Tar Valon, Tear, Illian, Amadicia, Arad Doman, Ebou Dar, Altara, some steddings, and once to Shienar. That was a frightening place since they're all so grim... Oh, and I saw the Aiel Waste once. Never went in though. So… a little over ten of the largest places in the world."

            Meria looked impressed at this recitation, but she looked a bit puzzled at the end.

            "Why didn't you go in? Scared of Aiel?" She gave a sly smile after saying that.

            _Of course. What kind of fool isn't scared of those people?!?_

            Jetrin decide that rather than showing fear, he'd show some false bravado. "Not too much. I've met a few in Caemlyn. They're all followers of the Dragon Reborn, so they can't be that bad…  The probably with the Waste is that it's such a dry and hot place. Makes the weather we've had here look cool."

            Giving a sideways glance at her, he asked, "Well, is that all?"

            "No, actually I have a couple more questions left," was her response.

            "Go ahead." _Might as well get her questions out of the way now._

            "How old are you? You don't look too old, and you're probably not more than twenty-five."

            _What kind of question is this? …how old am I anyway? Let me think._

"Umm… give me a while. It's been a long time since I thought about my age… hmm… I think I'm… twenty-two? No, wait, twenty-one. Why?"

            Meria looked at him curiously. "Really? How can you be that young and have been to all those places? When did you start traveling anyways?"

            "That's for me to know, and you to not know. So what's you're other questions?"

            Meria looked irritated to have just been blown off like that, but hadn't been very important. She asked her next question instead.

            "Why didn't you mention Tachio as a place you'd been? Isn't that where Illuminators come from? At least that's what my father told me."

            "People don't mention the starting point as a place they've been. If someone asks you in the future about where you've been, you won't say the Two Rivers, will you?"

            Meria thought it over for a while. Then, she nodded in understanding.

            "I get it, that makes sense. Alright, here's another question…"

            _This is getting kind of long here. After this question, I'll be finished answering questions about myself… yeah._

"When was the last time you went home?"

            _Too long. If I tell her, she'll be able to figure out my age, so…_

            "…next question please."

Meria blinked at Jetrin's response. She'd been expecting a real answer and had been surprised at the blunt response.

            "Wait, answer my question first. It's my last question anyway."

            "No. Ask a different question."

            Meria looked really irritated at this. Thinking for a moment, she had another question to ask.

            "Ok then. Why'd you leave home by yourself? Don't Illuminators usually travel together?"

            _…I might as well answer this bloody question truthfully…_

"Because I felt like it. Now, no more questions."

            Kicking his horse up to a swift trot, he sped along the trail.

________It's stop time_____________________________________________________

Same bat time. Same bat channel. 

J: …Wow

TI: What? What're you saying wow for?

J: I just can't believe that you actually updated when you said you would… at least technically.

TI: Hey, I said I would, didn't I?

J: Yeah, but you say a lot of things. Once you said you could stick an entire hot dog in you mouth.

TI: Hey, I did it, didn't I?

J: Yeah… let me just say that you're a bloody idiot.

TI: O…k… I just want to do something to you alright?

J: It depends. What are you going to do?

TI: Nothing much, just send you five hundred feet into the air and watch you plummet to the ground.

J: …What? *vanishes*

TI: *looks up* Eye for an eye and all that… Wow, look at him fall. I think he's making up his own curses just for this situation… look at him go.

Reviews:

ckk: Actually, you **can** do something. You can find my address and send me threatening letters, or find me, and force me to type out a chapter a day or else you'll restrict my internet access… But please don't. I'll be seriously freaked out if any of those two happens. Especially the first, since that's the only one that actually can happen… hopefully.

Annonomus:  I think you misspelled that. It's probably Anon o Muse… or Annono mouse… or Anna Nomus… what the heck? Never mind, scratch those names, I can't figure it out. As for the fall in love thing, that'll probably happen, but not until the end. And by end, I mean the very end. As for different POV, most of the story is going to be from Jetrin's POV. If I change once in a while, it's because the story needs it, or if I have to keep Jetrin's thought's private. Probably will happen at least three times.

Bad Luck Charm: Yeah, Cenn Buie's a loveable guy, ain't he? Smacking people with his stick here and there. Eh. Anyway, here's a question for you again. Isn't it a bad thing to constantly change names? If you change your name, won't any stories you write on one name not get transferred over to the other, so it's as if you didn't write any? Or, I'm being an idiot and all you have to do is change your name without making a new account, like when Fanfiction.net changed names to keep people from having the same name… please ignore the first half of this response. I realize that I'm an idiot and that my second idea is right.

So… yeah. That's it. Anyway, about my updating, at best I'll probably update on an every other week sort of schedule. So, by the end of this year I'll have written about… let's see, 52 weeks minus 6 weeks is 46 weeks. 46 divided by two is 23. So, at that pace, this story will be done in about… a year and then some… Dammit


	9. Umm sorry?

Errr…. Hiya. Been a while, eh? Sorry about that, but… eh… y'know… yeah. Ok… umm… yeah. Right. Okeydokey? …nevermind.

________________________________________________________________________

_"You don't understand!"_

_"I understand fine! Get this foolishness out of your mind, boy! You have traditions to uphold!"_

_"No! I won't stand this any longer! I'm leaving this place, and I'll never return!"_

_"Don't take another step, or else!"_

_"One day, you'll regret this! You'll be sorry!"_

_"Jetrin!"_

_"Jetrin!"_

"Jetrin!"

Jetrin came slowly awake to the sound of a now familiar voice. Opening one eye carefully, he peeked outwards to see her face.

"Argh…" he mumbled. "Go away. It's too early."

With those words, he closed his eye and hovered on the edge of sleep.

"Wake up Jetrin! There are a lot off things to do! We're still going on our way to Illian!" The voice just wouldn't let Jetrin be. He was starting to really wake up, and he really didn't want that to happen.

"It'll still be there no matter how long we take. Let me sleep." He replied in a sleepy tone. Jetrin had nearly been asleep again before she started talking.

_Light! This girl is more trouble than I bargained for! Just can't let a man sleep, can she?_

Jetrin started fading out again. Ever since he'd been traveling with Meria, he hadn't had a decent night's sleep. A decent night meaning over ten hours of sleep… past midnight. So, if you count those ten hours and the hours from before midnight, he sleep about… eleven to twelve hours daily.

It's not like I'm bloody lazy or anything. I just think a man should be allowed to sleep for as long as he feels he needs! I don't need some girl screaming every day in my ear to wake me up… actually, the yelling isn't that bad… there's something worse… but what was it?

Meria's voice came back again, this time sounding dangerously heated.

"If you don't wake up soon…" Jetrin got the feeling she was probably doing some hand motion to demonstrate what would happen, but he was finally almost asleep again, so he kept his eyes closed.

What was it… Ah well, it can't be that bad, can it? Or else I would probably remember…of course, it's not like anything that happened because of this girl's been pleasant… except the gold, must remember the gold… GAH!!! 

The gold was getting harder to think about, because of the reason for the gah! The reason being that Jetrin just had a whole lot of water dumped on his face. He sat up and began to cough and splutter. Luckily his eyes had been closed, or else he would have gotten water in them.

Oh, right. That was it. This was how I started out every bloody day since leading that Light forsaken, flea-ridden, Dark One praising excuse of a village! It's enough to make a man go mad!

Between coughs, he managed to gurgle out a few words.

"Why…do you….have to do that…every time!?!"

Meria was sitting on the ground next to him with a big grin. Jetrin wondered how, even though she'd done this five times already, she still found it amusing.

Simple minds are amused by simple things… bleh. I got water up my nose.

Of course, that fact was one he wouldn't share with Meria.

"Well," she said brightly, "If you'd just wake up earlier, you wouldn't have to have that happen everyday. It's your own fault."

Jetrin failed to see the logic in this statement. After getting his coughing under control, he ground out a few words. Of course, not the words he wanted to say, but even if he did say those words, they are unsuitable for print.

"How is it my fault?" he growled out with a sharp glare. "Did I, while asleep dump water on my head?!? NO, I DID NOT! Therefore, not my fault. All yours."

Jetrin was never a morning person.

Meria looked back at him still with her cheery expression.

I just want to… no, musn't do that. That'd neutralize the agreement with what's his name… Kevan. But still… he wouldn't know…right?

Shaking his head free of these thoughts, he turned and reached for his pack, which he had used as a pillow. Opening it, he pulled out an old shirt to dry himself off with.

"By the way," Meria said, "this gun of yours, how does it work?"

Oh… she wouldn't! She cannot be handling my gun!

Jetrin stopped in mid-dry, and moved his shirt out of his eyes so he could see her. And there, in her hands was his gun.

Argh! Just… Light! No respect for other people's property!

Leaning forward, he made a grab for his gun, but Meria made a swift movement backwards, just out of his reach.

"So," Meria began again, "how does it work?"

Drying off quickly, Jetrin replied tersely, "It doesn't."

Meria looked puzzled by this. "What are you talking about? I saw it do… something… twice! So of course it works!"

Carefully cooting forward, so Meria wouldn't notice, he replied, "When I fell right outside your village, I fell on my pack. My gun was in my pack, and the barrel bent out of shape. It doesn't work anymore."

Meria looked as if she understood, but a sudden realization hit her and she exclaimed angrily, "But it worked in the village! Where you did that thing to Cenn!"

Just keep talking. I'm almost close enough to grab my gun.

"That was just light, sound, and heat, no projectile," Jetrin answered distractedly. He concentrated completely on getting close enough to get the gun without Meria noticing. He continued by saying, "If I loaded the gun with a bullet too, instead of just powder, like it's supposed to be, the bullet would get stuck in the misshaped barrel and probably make a hole in it. Or explode it if I'm unlucky. Either result is bad. With powder, it was able to escape since it's a fluid substance, able to conform with it's container. That allowed it to flow around the misshaped path and escape."

Meria was even more confused by this than ever. While she tried to work out Jetrin's explanation, he leaned forward, and lightning quick, grabbed his gun and wrested it from her grip.

Good thing I don't keep this loaded. Even if it's only with gunpowder, a misfire then would've caused me some harm.

Meria didn't seem to notice that the gun had been removed from her possession, since she was still attempting to wrap her mind around Jetrin's explanation. Of course, it was futile, but she still tried.

Jetrin watched her struggle with his explanation for a little while longer. He knew that, unless a person had some background with the workings of fireworks, or were at least incredibly intelligent, they would have no chance of understanding his explanation. But, it was still fun to see her try.

Well, this'll get her off my back for a while, unless she gives up… but she probably won't.

And she didn't. She sat there trying to figure it out for about ten minutes before Jetrin, getting bored, asked her a question.

"Well, how about we go to an inn today? We've been sleeping in the woods so for, so let's try an inn out."

This question broke off Meria's concentration, and left her dazed and confused for a while. A second later, she asked, "An inn?"

"Yes, an inn. I feel like staying in an inn for a while. The clouds look kind of heavy right now, and I, for one, don't want to sleep in the rain. How about it?"

Grasping the situation at hand, Meria responded positively.

"Yes, ok. I want to make good use of the money my father gave you after all."

Uh… WHAT!!! How does she know about the deal I made with her father! What in the Light is going on here.

Seeing the alarmed look on his face, Meria answered his unspoken question.

 "Yes, my father told me all about the deal you two made. He didn't want me to tell you that I knew…"

Jetrin floundered at this answer. All he could say was, "But, he said it's a secret, and I said yes, and what's going on !?!"

Meria airily responded, "Yes, he told me all about how, when he told you about how he wanted me to learn about the world, you offered your services on the spot. My father also told me how you requested some money so that you could guide me through the land safely." She gave him a slightly angry glare. "Of course, my father went beyond the needed sum to help me out even more. But, I haven't seen any of it so far." 

"Not, of course," she added, "that I mind that much."

Jetrin was speechless. Completely and utterly devoid of speech. Kevan had explained the situation to his daughter… but in a rather crooked manner.

That… merchant… He has got to be the embodiment of all that is evil in the world. Forget the Dark One, I've seen the evilest, most crooked, tricky being in existence, and his name is Kevan.

Jetrin glanced at Meria. He thought about the situation with her so far. The real trouble, with the water in the face every morning had really only begun after, well, the first night. She probably didn't really mind sleeping outside, it was probably that she expected to sleep in inns more often. 

Eh, I do have the money. Why not live it up a little? Maybe I'll go to inns more often as long as the money lasts.

"Well," he said slowly, "let's look for an inn. From what I remember of this area, there should be one just a few miles in the direction we've been traveling so far."

Meria brightened up at these words, and quickly she began saddling up the horses. 

"Well, let's get moving then! I want some comfort in this trip!" she called out to him.

Shaking his head, he stood up, shouldered his pack, and saddled his horse.

Light… mornings are way too busy. Maybe tomorrow'll be better.

________________________________________________________________________

That place

J: Yo, TI. What's up? Why'd this update take so long?

TI: *plays solitaire*

J: Hello? TI? Twilight? HEY!

TI: Gah! What the!?! Holy… oh. It's just you.

J: Just me? Just me? I'm the star of your story! How is it **just** me?!?

TI: Eh… *plays solitaire*

J: You never answered my question.

TI: Quiet, I'm trying to beat solitaire. *tries to beat solitaire but fails utterly. Tries again*

J: Ummm… that's not solitaire.

TI: Oh yeah? Than what, Mr. Smarty Pants, is it?

J: …that's a ketchup packet… a **used** ketchup packet.

TI: Oh, so it is. *plays ketchup packet*

J: …that makes no sense at all y'know. And, you still haven't answered my question.

TI: And what question was that? *still playing ketchup packet*

J: Why this update took so long. And, shouldn't it be used ketchup packet, not ketchup packet?

TI: Fine. *continues playing used ketchup packet*

J: …And the answer to my question?

TI: What question? *makes a new world record for playing used ketchup packet*

J: …

TI: … *attempts to beat old used ketchup packet playing record*

J: …

TI: … *fails to beat record but continues to play used ketchup packet*

J: Alright, that's it! Give me that! *attempts to take used ketchup packet*

(Brief struggle ensues)

TI: …

J: …

TI: *starts playing used ketchup packet again*

J: …I give up.

The Moral of this story is: Do not ever, I repeat ever, feed a lemur… oh, wait, that's not the moral. The real moral is…*plays used ketchup packet some more* (J: ARGHHH!!!!)

Reviews:

… actually, I'm really scared to open my e-mails, just in case of flames, so, next chapter will have responses! 

A final thought:

Has anyone guessed where I'm headed with the story yet? No? Good. I want it to be a surprise. If you have, go ahead and put your theories up in you're review. I'll tell you how close you are. Most likely everybody's really off. As a hint, I'm building just about everything off of a single, small one paragraph long section about Illuminators in the books. Which book and what section? Now that's just making it easier for you. Figure it out!


	10. Let's go in an inn so we can stay indoor...

A double update. I know it doesn't make up for my… sporadic schedule, but… as said last chapter, yeah… right… Anyway, sorry about the huge gap between updates.

_________________________________w00t____________________________________________________________________________________

The town hadn't been too far away, only an hour or two. It was right about where Jetrin had said it would be. The only problem had been actually FINDING the inn, but that problem wasn't too bad really. It hadn't taken too long… in fact…

"How is it that it took you an hour to find this inn?!? I knew I shouldn't have followed you!"

"Hey, it's not like I stay at inns a lot! The last time I was here, I slept in a stable!"

"Isn't the stable at the inn!"

"…" _…I really hate this girl…_

"Anyway, we're here, so let's go in, shall we?"

"Fine."

Jetrin was feeling a little put out. Here he was, supposedly a man of the world, a traveler with so many years on his belt, and it had taken him this long to find an inn?!? His ego was a bit bruised, and Meria's nagging had really started to irritate him.

It's not too bad though, considering I'm so unused to inns. The good thing about this, other that the bed, the hot food, and the roof over my head is finally having something to separate myself from this girl. Light! Some peace and quiet'll do me good! I've traveled alone this whole time, and this girl is putting a severe crimp in my lifestyle! These few days of peace are probably all I'll have for a while!

Ah, if only he knew…

Stepping into the inn, Jetrin spotted the innkeeper bustling about. The innkeeper wasn't your average innkeeper. Rather that a jolly, portly build, he was an intelligent looking, solid looking man. And, instead of really bustling about, it looked like he was only acting as if he was bustling about. He seemed like he was waiting for something to happen. The common room of the inn seemed a bit empty, but not desolate. The occupants looked as if they had just finished a late lunch, and the innkeeper looked desperate for something to do. Spotting Jetrin and Meria's entrance, he rushed without seeming to rush towards them.

With a wide smile on his face, he said, "Travelers, eh? Going off to see the world? Nice weather we're having, don't you think?"

Jetrin's head was spun round at the rapidity and randomness of this man's questions. Sorting out his minds, he was about to answer as best he could, but Meria beat him to it.

"Yes, yes, and not really," she quickly chattered.

"Really," responded the innkeeper amiably, "why not?"

Meria responded in similar fasion by saying, "It's much to hot nowadays."

The innkeeper chuckled at that, and gave a quick answer to her response. "Yes, I agree. Much too hot. It should be cooler by now, don't you think?"

"Yes, of course. It's nearly winter after all," Meria agreed wholeheartedly.

Meanwhile, Jetrin had a hard time keeping up with this conversation. At ordinary speed, it may have been ok, but the whole conversation about the weather had lasted less than five seconds. And, the two still prattled on and on. He had no idea what was going on, but he decided that it didn't matter.

Just idle talk. And, maybe she'll stop talking to me for a little while. Oh what a joy that would be!

"So, where are you headed?" That was the innkeeper.

"Oh we're off to Illian." Meria said this.

"Really? I hear the Dragon Reborn has started campaigning against Illian?" Innkeeper again.

"What?!?" Guess who that was.

"Really, he has. Sent his soldiers there and everything. It's the talk of the town. You're the only one who didn't know." Innkeeper again.

"Oh boy. I hope I get there soon after the end of the battle. That's the best time to make money." Alright, now guess who the person who said what was.

"You already have a lot of money from my father, why do you need more?" Innkeeper… nah, I'm just kidding.

"Oh, are you two…together?" …Kevan…now, if you believed that, that's pitiful.

"WHAT!?! NO!" Alright, now this is an ambiguous comment. If you guess who said it, and you're right, you get a prize!

"Whenever a young man and woman are traveling together without escorts, it's usually…and the father gives large sums of money… I didn't mean to offend!"  The innkeeper looked rather flustered as he tried to stammer out his apologies.

"…ok…it's all right… I guess." Jetrin really didn't care much. He just wanted to get a room soon and away from all these noisy people.

"No it's not!  What kind of assumption was that? He could be my brother or cousin or something!" Meria seemed pretty angry and embarrassed by the innkeeper's comment. Of course, she's got a really unmellow personality, so that's natural for her.

"But then that would be incest!" The innkeeper just can't keep his mouth shut.

"…" Ok… where in the Pit of Doom is this bloody conversation going?

Jetrin, before the innkeeper was pushed into his own grave, seeing that he'd already dug it, decided to intrude. Grabbing the innkeeper, Jetrin gave him several solid shakes back into reality. He them placed himself between the innkeeper and Meria to keep her from causing irreparable damage to the innkeeper. That's just not something you do to your host.

"Master Innkeeper," Jetrin spoke slowly and deliberately. "Can we have two rooms please?"

The innkeeper, finally faced with a situation that innkeeper school (or wherever they learn innkeepering… whatever) had prepared him for, fell into the natural order of things once more.

"Ah, yes of course! In fact, we have several rooms, how many would you two like? One?" Ok, maybe he's not back to normal, but he's almost there.

This guy must have a death wish or something.

Jetrin had to keep moving back and forth to keep blocking Meria from getting at the innkeeper. Not a fun thing.

"Two! Two rooms right!?!" The innkeeper seemed to be getting a bit panicky, but his brain seemed to slowly be coming back to working order. Or, it could just be the threat of imminent death that sent blood pumping to his brain.

Smiling a calm, disarming smile, Jetrin replied smoothly.

"Yes, and maybe a little relaxing tea. Could you show us to our rooms?"

"Umm…" The innkeeper was looking warily at the now no longer rabid, yet still frustrated at not being able to smack the innkeeper, Meria.

Continuing in his comfortable, calming tone, Jetrin said, "I'm sure she'll follow wherever you go."

Even if it's only for a chance to give you a solid hit. Sheesh, she's a bit of trouble if she can't take a little bit of stupidity. Light knows I always do!

"That's not very comforting." The innkeeper responded.

Through a series of complex maneuvers, the two were able to get the slightly calmer Meria into her room with minimal damage to the innkeeper. She appeared to have calmed down a bit, since she didn't chase after the innkeeper after they got her in her room and then rushed out. Jetrin and the innkeeper walked to the common room and, sitting at an empty table, awaited their tea.

"Oh my, that was quite a bit of excitement!" the innkeeper commented heartily.

"Really? You know Sal, that was a bit extreme there, especially since you don't know the girl." The tea came, and the two took it from the server gratefully.

"What, me, extreme? Salinus Maudrin is never extreme! I simply enjoy excitement wherever I can find it, and it's not very exciting if the person knows me!" Sal sipped at his tea.

"Really… I'll give you that one, but I've been in your inn two times before this, and this type of scene always seems to happen. And that's not counting the times on the road. I can't imagine how this inn survived those… seven times. And there are probably a lot more times this's happened around here." Jetrin looked at his tea. It was still too hot, but Sal just drank it down.

"Hey, being an innkeeper is a dull job you know. I need some excitement, some fun. I've had this inn for two years, and nothing fun ever happens." Sal didn't even seem to have felt that scalding hot tea burn his mouth.

Jetrin looked at Sal funny. "You've been causing trouble for a long time, even when you're father owned this inn." The tea was still pretty hot, so Jetrin continued to ignore it. Sal was starting to look at it with a glint in his eye, but Jetrin scooted it closer to himself.

Bringing his attention back to the matter at hand, Sal nodded. "Yeah. Back all those years ago, when you first came by the inn, you scared me. A whole lot younger then me, but really serious!"

Jetrin shook his head. "All those years? Four years is a long time, I guess. And what were you, twenty?"

"Yeah, and you were seventeen. Right? Those were the days." Sal called another server over and got another cup of hot, scalding, liquid fire type tea… which he promptly gulped down.

Jetrin suppressed a laugh. "If I remember correctly, you wanted to run away from home, and I let you come with me… and you came back after about half a year. You said the wandering life didn't suit you."

Sal sighed at the old memories. "Yeah, but the excitement did. Nowadays it gets pretty boring. Ever since my dad left the inn to me…" Sal looked downcast at this, as if his ordinarily energetic mood was dampened by bad memories. 

Jetrin couldn't hold back his laugh then. "Yeah, wasn't that a kick in the pants! He left you this inn, and off he goes to see the world! I didn't even know until I came back, what was it, three months ago?"

"More like five." Sal laughed at Jetrin's comment too. "Yeah, here I was, wanting adventure, and dad makes me stay here and goes off to have an adventure… It's really, really irritating." Sal added a comic display of fake anger to punctuate his point.

Jetrin laughed at this. "Yeah. And you can't leave the inn. You're father trusted you with it, and if he comes back to find it sold, he'll go berserk."

"Yeah, yeah. Speaking of berserk, who was that girl?"

Jetrin looked at Sal askance. "What, the girl you were mocking and who might've killed you, Master Innkeeper?"

"Yes, and stop calling me that! I have enough to remind me I'm just an innkeeper without you saying that!" Sal ordered up a third cup of incredible, magma hot tea and slurped it down. Boy, he seems to love his tea, doesn't he?

Jetrin sipped at his now sufficiently cool tea. Eh… how should I explain this…

___________________________________________Yee-Haw!__________________________________________________________________

Alright, before I do anything else, know that Sal isn't a vital character (maybe), the whole thing in the beginning was an act, and Sal and Jetrin are good friends from way back (which you probably already got from the chapter). As for Jetrin's changed attitude (Mr. Happy Man), he's different around good friends, less stiff and more easy in speech. He thinks less and says more. That's about all I can say about that.

That place over there with the thing

J: So… where the hell did Sal come from?

TI: Alright, I explained all that above, so don't ask.

J: Ah…

TI: And he wasn't a planned character, he just popped out of nowhere.

J: Hm….

TI: And to answer your other question, I'm lazy.

J: Oh… hey, wait, what other question?

TI: Y'know, from the other chapter.

J: Mm…

TI: Oh, and I was sick for a week.

J: Gee… did the sickness affect your eyes?

TI: No…

J: Your brain?

TI: No…

J: Your hands?

TI: No… what're you getting at?

J: What I'm saying is, is that being sick isn't a useful excuse when typing is involved. You could still type, couldn't you?

TI: …Fine. Then I go back to my first excuse.

J: The lazy one?

TI: Yeah.

J: Ah…

Review: 

(TI: I'm really afraid of flames for my late updating…)  
(J: Well, if you updated sooner, this wouldn't be a problem.)

(TI: Yeah, but the reviews have been piling up. I haven't checked them yet.)

(J: Don't you get e-mails whenever you get a review?)

(TI: Yeah… I haven't opened any fanfiction.net e-mail yet.)

(J: Doesn't that make the whole thing worthless?)

(TI: Eh… anyway, I'm scared to check.)

(J: Are you a man or a mouse?)

(TI: Squeak, squeak.)

(J: …)

Speaking of which, how many reviews do I have, anyway? I would check, but… meh.


	11. Double Update part two, Interesting

Hey, know what I just realized? Writing is hard. I mean, after I work up the will to write, I start writing, and I don't keep track of the time. When I'm done, it's been like two hours! And, if I proofread my stuff and did all that second, third, and final draft stuff my teachers get on my case about, it'd take me forever. Speaking of proofreading, I think my uploaded chapters have screwed up italics, so I think I should change my thinking… thing. Instead of italics, I might use 'apostrophes' for thoughts. It may not feel right to me, but starting from this chapter, I'll do it like that. As for previous chapters, I'll leave them until I finish the story, and then I'll switch the thoughts for those too. Unless people don't want me to.

As for people who don't read the segment up there…

IMPORTANT! FROM NOW ON, THOUGHTS WILL NOT BE ITALICIZED. INSTEAD, THE WILL BE PUT INTO 'APOSTROPHES.' SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY CAUSE YOU--- The Management

_______On Word, this is a single line passing from one end of the page to the other. How it appears on uploaded chapters is beyond me____________________

'Sheesh, Sal can be such an idiot sometimes.'

After having explained the situation completely to Sal and suffering his jabs and japes, Jetrin had retired to his room. By then, the sun had begun to set, and Jetrin was getting prepared to catch up for the sleep he had lost thanks to a certain person.

'I wonder how she's doing anyway. When I passed by her room, it was still closed.'

Jetrin wasn't too worried though… at least not for Meria. Instead, he was worried about what would happen the next time Meria met Sal. The homicidal rage she had suffered might resurface, and Jetrin really didn't want to deal with something like that. He shrugged it off, and looked around his room.

'Simple, yet comfortable. Not as good as the room at the idiot village… but much more desirable. The freedom to leave whenever I want to really helps to up the desirability of a room. The bed looks comfortable too.'

Having decided to turn in for the night, day, sunset, whatever, he unlaced his shirt. As he pulled it off over his head, he heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" he asked, slightly muffled because of the shirt. Probably more so for the person outside, what with there being a door and all.

"It's me." The door muffled and distorted the voice in such a way that the words could be heard, but the speaker couldn't be identified.

"Me who?"

"Me. Who else do you think I am, you?" The voice sounded slightly annoyed as it answered, and because the door muffled noises, the voice was most likely really annoyed.

'There's only one person I know who can sound that annoyed… at least one person in this inn.'

"What is it Meria?" Jetrin contemplated whether or not to put his shirt back on, but decided against it. He sat on his bed and began pulling off his boots.

There was a slight pause. Then Meria started talking again.

"I want to apologize.'

"For what?" Those boots were pretty jammed in there. He hadn't taken them off in a while, so that's a given, but they were really stuck!

'These boots are worn in! They should just slide right off, not get stuck like this.' He continued wrestling with his boot.

"For talking to your friend like that, and acting the way I did." She really did sound sorry, but that may have just been the wood warping her voice.

"My friend? How do you know Sal is my friend?" That boot was finally slipping off. Now that it was done, he started to work on the other one.

"I saw you two talking to each other when I came out of my room. I didn't want to disturb you, so I went back in."

'Hmm… she seems to have calmed down considerably…'

"I see. And you didn't try to kill him?" The second boot seemed to be jammed more tightly then the other.

"Ah… no." She sounded quite embarrassed. "I actually spoke with him after you came to this room. He seems to be a nice person actually. He apologized to me over his behavior."

"Yeah, Sal's great. He causes trouble, but he always apologizes soon after. I've learned to not take him seriously." The boot seemed to be latched onto his foot like a leech. It just wouldn't let go.

"I can see why. Um… what are you doing in there? It sounds like you're straining yourself."

"Just trying to get my boot off so I can sleep. Almost got it." Jetrin began tugging at his boot even harder, and it budged ever so slightly.

'Yes! Just a little bit more…'

"Sleep?" Meria said. After a pause, she added, "Already?"

"Yes. I'm making up for lost sleep, so let me say goodnight right now. And tell Sal goodnight for me too." The boot was almost off, and Jetrin began to pull it with an almost manic fervor.

"Alright then… goodnight…?" And then her voice was gone.

Jetrin yanked extra hard at his boot and pulled it off his foot, but then he lost his grip and it flew upwards. Also, he fell back on the bed and got a good view of the ceiling. Unfortunately, even thought there was no Isaac Newton in The Wheel of TimeÔ, gravity still exists, so down came the boot. It fell, sole first, and smashed right into Jetrin's chest.

"Oomph!" said Jetrin as air expelled from his lungs.

"What?" said Meria who was apparently still outside the door.

"…" said the boot that had caused all this.

"Are you all right?" Meria asked with a worried tone.

Tossing the boot on the floor, Jetrin rubbed the boot print on his chest. Wincing slightly at the pain, he felt nothing serious, except for an old scar…

"Jetrin?"

"Yeah, I'm all right," Jetrin answered her first question. 

"What happened?"

'Hmm… how to state that…'

"I guess you could say I kicked myself in the chest."

"…What?" Meria sounded completely and utterly confused.

"How in the Pit of Doom is that possible?" Sal sounded confused too.

Jetrin blinked. He hadn't been aware that Sal was out there too.

"Sal, are you out there too?"

"No. You've just gone insane," Sal responded with good humor. "Now tell me, how did you kick yourself in the chest?"

"Well, technically, I guess you could say I threw my boot at my chest, but it's basically the same thing."

Silence was all that could be heard from the other sound of the door. Then, Sal spoke again.

"The question still stands, how in the Pit of Doom is that possible? And why would you do that in the first place?"

"Yes," Meria chimed in, "I want to know too."

'Argh… can't they just leave me alone.'

"I was trying to get my boot off, and I pulled to hard so I accidentally flung it up. Then it fell and hit me in the chest. Happy?" Pain is not very good at helping people keep a civil tounge.

Silence was all that could the heard from the other sound of the door again. And then, loud, fully liberated laughter could be heard.

'Nice people. Laughing at the pain of others.'

Through the laughter, Sal said, "Well, that's a good one. See you at lunch time Jetrin." The laughter grew distant as the two outside moved away from the door.

Grumbling to himself, Jetrin felt at the boot print again. He came across the old scar again as well. He looked at it.

'Been a while since I've really looked at it, seeing as it's been with me for so long…'

The scar was a burn scar, or actually a brand. It was on his left chest above his heart. The brand was three flames, pointing outwards in an upside-down Y formation, or as if they were at the point of a triangle.

'A symbol of Illuminators, branded into the successor of the Guildmaster… No matter how far I go, I'll always be an Illuminator. Father… why did you have to choose me?'

Laying on the bed, Jetrin stared at the ceiling as memories tried to take over. Rather then letting them take over his conscious thoughts, he began to slip into the sweet oblivion of sleep. 

'The dreams may come, but at least those may be forgotten… memories…'

And Jetrin drifted into a cold, nightmarish sleep, wrapped in the fog of memories.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The place 

TI: You think I should change the genre?

J: To what? You've still got a lot of humor in there, what with a **boot** falling on me.

TI: Hm… I guess, but there's something else there too now.

J: Yeah, and who's fault is that?

TI: Well, technically yours, seeing as how this is your story and all.

J: Yeah, but you're writing it.

TI: Pshaw. Think anyone knows where this is going?

J: Well considering that even **you** don't know where this is going, I'll have to give that a solid and emphatic **no**.

TI: Hey, I know where this is going… basically.

J: Mm-hmm. Just admit it. You're up the creek without a canoe.

TI: You mean a paddle, don't you?

J: Normally it's a paddle. For you, it's the whole canoe.

TI: …

J: Now answer your reviews for once or else they'll stop reviewing.

TI: *sigh* Well, time to open my e-mails.

Reviews:

Ckk: My address? For e-mail? I'm pretty sure it's on my profile… which I've never made… eh. Anyway, I only update here, so there's no homepage where I put up my story.

Luna Nightraven: I've got a feeling that everyone will be getting on my case over updates. As for Meria, of course she'll change. Not as much as the actual book characters, but she'll stop being as irritating, probably. And if not, maybe I'll kill her off! (No, I won't, unless it's a part of the story, and based on my plan so far, that shouldn't happen ever. Of course, nothing goes to plan, so…) No, don't worry, the only one who'll die is Jetrin. (Kidding again! …or not…) As for your penname, this one sounds a bit cooler then the other ones and sounds like a real name, sort of. I give it a solid 8. In other words, Cool.

Poop: Gah… I know I should update, but I can never get up the actual will to write and stuff. Put it down to regular laziness. Oh, and poop? Kind of a weird name, ain't it? Walk down the street and people say, "Hey Mr. Feces!"… now that's disturbing.

Taim al, Lorn: Yeah, I know all about that. I've got way too much dialogue and not enough action in my chapters, and I wish I could change it, but every time I try, it gets too cluttered. The story doesn't really flow for me. I'll try my best to change it, but don't get your hopes up. Sorry.

Threespot: What? Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about. No, wait, I get it! No, wait, I'm still lost.

Poop: Hey, it's poop again! …that sounded a bit off. Yea, Mat was always cool, so Jetrin is probably based a lot off off of Mat, or something. I'm writing this stuff and I don't know. As for Jetrin the Player, he's too mellow for stuff like that. And the female lead and the male lead having a thing for each other? Nah, probably not… at least not yet. Give it like the whole story and something might happen, but you could probably switch Meria for a male character and still have the same basic dynamic between them… of course it might just be disturbing. 


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